Today was full of so many things.
I made 6 bottles of goat formula for these two..
Later in the day, I decided to surprise Richard and finish the goat fence. Which was so much fun because Isaac helped.
Mommy! Please let this be the last board! I'm getting wet out here! This is the last one…right mommy?
Sweet conversations as we worked together.
He worked too.
I was so proud.
A chicken almost got in through pool fence. I do CPR but not sure how that works for chickens so I'm glad we diverted that course.
This. This is the crazy we hoped for. Crazy. Fun. Messy. Hard. Perfect.
Richard and I even managed our date night getting to try a new fun pizza place…just us.
So fun going over the highlights of my day with him and he with me. This one I just have to write down because it's a mommy moment for me. It even made me cry over pizza–and I think I might have caught a tear in my Rico Suave too as I shared. The best of all of the moments in my crazy day…
I arrived to the preschool to pick up these two sweeties from their morning of play…
And I wish I had a picture of the moment just 5 minutes before this.
Still holding my breath thinking about that moment.
I was standing in line with a handful of moms in front of me waiting to pickup their 3 year olds.
The children were all in a circle playing. Except Zeke. He was sitting in the circle but stretching his little neck to see each mom that came.
I could see disappointment at each face…and his brow crinkled up as he strained to see.
He didn't see me yet.
And I knew…he was looking for me…mommy.
Here this love who entered my arms when he was 2 years old and now at 3. Waiting in this circle and hoping the next one was…me. Mommy.
I held my breath…because some times as a mommy through adoption you some times think…what if. What if i hadn't called that day when I was captured by that sweet little face of this boy I was praying for online. What if someone else had called? What if no one had? What if I had missed him? Or he me? What if he was waiting and waiting like that little boy stretching his head to see mommy…and no one came? Everyone needs mommy…and oh my…this mommy needed him.
I have a unique experience as mommy having biological babes and babes through adoption–my heart too. Sure they were all my choice to have…but with adoption it is different. I didn't know if my first three would be girls or boys or if I'd miscarry or if they would finally be in my arms. When I found out each time I was pregnant–we hoped…we prayed…for so many things…health, just making it here…and then…here they came with the miracle of birth. But with adoption…
Sometimes it's a phone call. Or a picture. You know months…some times years of health information–and the stories, medical history and backgrounds are often a pile high of papers to sort through with 24 hours to say yes to. And just like that…you are mommy. And you wait. You wait. You wait. And you wait some more. I watched mine grow up for many months in pictures while we waited for every clearance…every step another YES…toward I am mommy. Much of it all–really a choice…really for us and not so much for them…just hopes they will one day shout it…want it…want us–right back too.
And he sees me.
Mommy! Mommy! My mommy is here!
He squeals the same thing. Every. Single. Time.
And it never gets old.
My knees jolt from the impact of that little boy who just raced to run into them with a giant 3 year old hug.
I hold my breath. And force a smile instead of tears.
I am blessed.
I am mommy.
He is mine.
My sweet son.
Today I hold on to that memory. With thankfulness that His story…the One He writes for us…is so much more beautiful than anything we could write for ourselves. Trusting Him every step of the way!