I was cleaning the basement today. A for REAL clean. Dumping all the cubbies upside down–sitting there with two garbage bags–trash and give away…and tossing the very few keep things back in each cubby. And smiling here and there knowing that tomorrow it will all be messy again.
And then it happened.
All over again.
Longing for more. For the next thing. Not even knowing what the next thing is.
Or is it just me?
And then my mind drifted back as my heart started singing a song.
She sat beside me with her guitar in hand strumming and singing. We were a world away–and she was the only friend who spoke English–the only other American girl. And we best learn to be friends. And even sing together. We had taken a year off to do mission work across the world in East Asia, and while it seemed exciting–after months past I began to long for the familiar. I hadn’t seen my parents, family or friends for months…and with a year ahead before seeing them again–I felt so alone.
“Sing with me,” she said.
Months in a tight space–doing missions together–our personalities being night and day. I did NOT want to sing. I did not want to sing with her. Could this be real? What had happened to my heart? Not wanting to sound rude or pouty or unkind. I sang. I felt awkward–unauthentic…and I really didn’t know the words. I remember kneeling over, closing my eyes and singing quietly–and wondering if the words would really be true for me that year.
Weeks passed and then months…and as they passed–that same song would be played. Over and over and over again. The words of that hymn were soon written on my heart. And this friend–was now one of my best friends as we learned to seek and be satisfied in Him alone…across the world…where there was little material possession or activities or tv programs in our language…or really anything in our language for that matter.
She would stop playing the guitar half way through the song now and our voices harmonized. It was beautiful, authentic and worshipful. We were being satisfied by our Creator, our Sustainer…our Great Provider.
I ran upstairs to see if I could find the song…to see if I could find someone who sounded like the version we had snuck in country, one where missionaries were not allowed, to listen on our cd player. And it took me back. (turn off music at bottom right before playing)
As I listened–I was reminded that our feelings–just like history–repeat itself. As long as we are in this world, we will be tempted to look, wonder or desire the “next thing”…something more…something better. But if the longing isn’t Jesus–the longing will always be there.
There will be days we struggle. Can we really be still? Can we stay right where we are–and allow Him to satisfy us right where He has us?? I know that He wants to.
I am so thankful that He has sought me and found me and brought me to Himself. He wants to satisfy ALL our longings. The question is–can I be still and allow Him to fill all my longings?
May you be reminded of Him when feelings of longing come into your heart…may you feel His presence as you slow down and wait upon Him to fill them and meet you where you are…and may you be filled with His glory and JOY as you walk forward being filled with His Spirit.
Blessings to you this weekend…